Saturday, December 20, 2014

Abstain for your Soul, not Society.

One of the most Googled subject of all times. There is so much curiosity about it and yet our hypocrite  society behaves that a goddess embeds our wombs with a divine light and BAM! you get pregnant.  We as a society  don’t think it’s important to discuss sex. So since we don’t have the audacity to teach our kids , they look up to their friends, who in turn, turn to Google Baba for gyan. And when all fails there is always a good old xxx  to the rescue.

Sex is so much more than gratification of your physical desires. It is a celebration of a unison of  two souls who hold deep affection and respect for each other. Tell me one xxx movie that teaches you that. Unless you want a generation that is going around behaving like chimpanzees we need to sit down and talk. 

Why wait?
Premarital sex in my opinion is a big risk. Sure there are risks like Unwanted pregnancy, hepatitis and syphilis. But these are just the physiological risks.  Every time you strip naked you also expose your soul. It gets venerable and it makes attachments. If promises are broken, you can dress your body back but that scar in the soul never really heals. It makes you bitter for life. So abstain not cause the society tells you so, but abstain because your soul deserves better.

I hate the societies stand on the subject. This is against our culture, our religion but no one has the time to explain WHY. Try telling that to a rebellion teenager who is all ready to conquer the world, they will just shout you out. Equip them with all the knowledge and we can only hope that they make the right choices.Explain the emotional consequences, explain why our culture is against it,  explain why this system that has been carefully curated has worked so far. An unbiased free of fear conversation with today's generation, its the only of reaching out to them.

I was curious to  decode a social network savvy teenager mind on the subject. So when my niece had a couple of friends over for a night stay, I bribed them with pizza and in return had them fill up a little survey on premarital sex. Here are a few excerpts from the survey. P.s. am sharing  not so that we can judge them, but just so that you can get an understanding of how the generation is evolving.

Below is a temple of the survey I had them fill out. 

Thanks for being a part of this survey. Since it’s a sensitive topic, you could chose to keep your name anonymous as long as you give your honest, unbiased opinion. This questionnaire is not meant to judge you, but to get an idea of today’s youth’s thought process . Appreciate your time and honesty. Thank you.
Name :

Sex :
Your view on : Pre-marital Sex     

Your reason:

*the quotes below are in the exact form as the author left them, they haven't been altered and reflect their true opinion.

Aditya mennon, 20.
“There is no harm in premarital sex, because if you trust a person and get physical with them it doesn’t  matter”.

Nomi Bhalla , 16.
“These days it is completely depends on whom we trust and have sex with. It’s not a big issue though.”

Aishwariya Nair, 17.
“it is a personal decision. No one can force you into it. Today people sleep with someone they hardly know and you are still talking about pre-marital sex? It’s just fine.”

Anonymous , 18.
“It is not wrong unless and until you know you are doing it with the right person. Nobody should be judged over it. Our society doesn’t allow it but it’s not wrong. It is one of the ways to show your love. I guess I totally agree on the idea of premarital sex. Being careful and protection is important. It’s not a crime , it’s just making your partner feel special.”

Preena Palan , 17
“No , if you have sex with someone and then if that person leaves you and you get married to someone else, and you don’t tell him about your earlier companion that definitely means you are wrong.”

Niharika Shetty, 18
“Obviously yes. I can give you five reason,
1-Discouraging people from having sex has never, not once at any point in human history been successful.
2-Not everyone is sexually compatible. So figure that shit out before you walk down the aisle.
3-Sex feels great and is fun.
4-Premarital sex leads to more stable marriages.
5-Sex is healthy and natural.”

Akshay Joshi, 18.
“It’s a good thing cause we all have emotions and sex is something that you can’t avoid. Even a simple kiss is not avoidable when you love someone. Virginity is not a treasure which is to be safe guarded. If you marry someone you don’t know, and you have to have sex with a stranger then its better to have sex with someone you know and care about.”

Nihar, 19.
“It’s a taboo in our culture, but there is nothing wrong in it. Sex is perfectly natural. God made us like this. If you feel it’s time to take your relationship to the next level , there is nothing wrong. All it requires is mutual consent and not marriage to have sex, no one has the right to stop you.

Without being judgmental, am in great awe at how honest and uncanny they are bout their opinion. Right or wrong it is not my prerogative. Its for them to decide. 

Can hardly wait, that’s the situation of the entire generation. Waiting for anything is so last season. It’s hard to imagine that the coming generation would like to indulge in chastity. Let’s just hope they make better choices. 

We cant negate the fact that the west is rubbing off on them. 
As a mom this has me worried for sure.

This topic was inspired by Poonaam Uppal's True Love - A Mystical True Love, I’ve read some really good reviews about this one and I quote:
“Heart Rendering Narrative of True Love
As I read the bold and eventful narration I am propelled into a World of true love. The biography in simple words details the most warm yet a period full of angst and fervor.” 
Lets hope this one serves as a beacon of light for our lost generation.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

A parent’s travel cheat sheet!

“There is no bad weather, only inappropriate clothing”, 

In other words, a little planning goes a long way. If you are a parent then you know exactly what I mean. Traveling with children can be overwhelming. There is an endless list of things to carry. Not to mention an entire pharmacy and a grocery store that needs to be accommodated within the 23kg baggage limit. Long flights can be daunting and the lay-over’s can bring you closer to a breakdown.

I’ve traveled to 4 countries with my son, starting off when he was just 9months. Our last trip with him was only a few months back and now, after a bazillion mistakes am finally getting it right. So here I am sharing my gyan that I’ve gathered after some really bad stumbles.  

#Location. I thought it was a bright idea to travel to Dubai with my one and a half year old. Big mistake. He got claustrophobic in his stroller every 5 minutes. All I did was chase him down the mall like a crazy woman. Can’t remember a single thing I shopped for during the ironic shopping festival. It’s very important to plan a destination with keeping the child in mind. Like for instance our last trip to Australia was a super hit, visit to the zoo, theme parks and beaches, holiday personified . So if you want to pleasant holiday, chose your destination wisely. Make sure your destination has a little bit of something for everyone.

#Flights. Happy child, happy you. Make sure you keep them occupied. A sucker during takeoff and landings helps relieve the pain. A favorite snack helps calming the tantrum. Few toys keep them company and when all fails, a little jog in the aisle dose wonders. Don’t bother no one’s judging.

#Packing Hacks. One great tip I can share is I don’t make individual bag for each one of the family member, but for each day of the trip I have my husband’s, mine and my sons clothes packed into one neat bag. This does make packing a little tedious, but you will bless me for the time you save every morning when you don’t have to run around wondering what to wear.

#Plan every last detail. Your carefree bag-packing days are passé when you traded your trainers for a stroller. Meticulous planning helps you cover more distance and help you explore potential things that might keep you and the kids happy.

Once you get the hang of it , children make the best travel companions ever. It’s surprising that even by the end of a tiring day  they have heaps of energy to do more. Their innate sense of curiosity is something we all can learn from. They put the fun back into vacation. They remind you that sometimes all you need is an in room service, where you kill the wake-up call, hit the pool and just relax. P.s. don’t forget the sun block.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Fear vs. Me #RiseAboveFear

“There is no illusion greater than fear.”
My throat was dry. Having gulped down half a bottle of water had not really helped. Beads of sweat were trickling down my spine. I shook like a leaf . Just two more minutes and I will be ripped naked. My truth will be out in the world for others to see.

Just when I was zoned out I head the teacher call out, “Disha, continue where Priya left off.” I stood up, my eyes welled up . I could barely make sense of the French Revolution. Spurted out a word or two, before my eyes couldn’t contain my tears, I could hear a faint giggle behind my back. As though it was contagious it just kept getting louder. I felt a knot in my stomach and I ran out of the room and hurled my guts out.

I was barely 12 then. But the entire episode is so well imprinted in my mind that I could still feel the tension in my shoulders, as I narrate it today. The fear of speaking in public, one of the most common fears of all. It haunted me for a good part of my schooling life. What made it worse was that my friends thought I was a looser and my teachers were these frustrated bunch of women who in the class of 84 clearly didn’t have the time or the inclination to help me out.

Fear-1, Me -0.

There were times when I knew the answers, sometimes better than others, but I just couldn’t find the strength to raise my hand. They wrote me off and I kind of got comfortable with that. But as change is the only constant, I graduated to high school and things were about to get better.

By the time I was 15, I had read more books than I had friends. One of the series that really helped me were The Chicken Soup books. They made me realize that am not the only one out here. Everyone is afraid of something. It’s just the matter of power. I decide who holds the reign in my life. Weather I give my fear the power to consume me, or I  gather up the courage to meet it head on and knock the daylight out of it.

Since I was starting college, I didn’t want to be “that girl”, the girl who froze. What helped is that these people came in with a clean slate. They had no preconceived notions  about me. So whatever they make of me was in my hands. First day of college, I had a point to prove. Not to them, but to myself. Nothing had changed, the knots came back, but this time it was just Me vs. Fear.

I decided I wanted to raise above my fear,
I’d give it my best shot. Either I could end up making a mockery of myself and hit Déjà vu , or I could kill it by having myself heard. There was only one way of finding out, by taking the plunge.I took center stage. Took a good look around, put on a big smile and I spoke. Can’t remember what exactly, but all I could remember was an encore that followed. 

 Me -1, Fear -0.

I made more friends in college than I did in my school. I had teachers who adored me. I was hated by few, cause they wanted to be me. If I had to tell them that I was once a girl that froze, they would probably never believe me. 

We all have fears. It’s up to you, if you chose to give it power or decide to overpower it. It’s OKAY to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.

Head on over to Mountain Dews FaceBook page if you are looking for inspiration to get over yours.

 The above post was inspired but the new Mountain Dew campaign: